It's a strange feeling, arriving back in Leicester. Every time I come home I feel like I've never been away.
Although I've only been living in Brighton for 15 months, it feels like so much longer. Each time I come back to Leicester, I see minor cosmetic alterations- the extension of the shopping centre, closed roads, new buildings etc., but no matter what happens it still feels like home.
I always knew that Brighton would be a temporary home. As great as Brighton is, it doesn't feel real. So much goes on in Brighton that you wouldn't see anywhere else in the country, it has a very surreal atmosphere. For the first time since I've been away, I am feeling an internal clamour for the reality of the dark, dingy, lifeless city streets. I guess we all need a certain amount of familiarity and reality, and Brighton really doesn't feel like somewhere that I could settle down long-term. I give it another couple of years before I have to move on for the sake of my own sanity.
But bigger than this, although everything feels familiar, at the same time it also feels very different. In the 19 hours that I've been back here I have already noticed changes within myself. I see things that would previously have annoyed me, and I am calm. I hear people saying things that before I would not have known how to react to, I my mind is working on providing them with an answer.
All in all, I have moved on. I have grown up.
Though the last year has been much fun socially, professionally it has been very difficult. However, through those professional difficulties I have learned a lot about myself and I now realise that I put those learnings into place on a daily basis.
Where I once felt uncomfortable in Leicester, I now realise that I feel comfortable in myself. Thus, my physical surroundings seem somewhat unimportant.
This is why I moved away. I think I'm finally starting to understand myself.
